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You look into the mirror at your sagging skin. You force your face into a fake smile, analyzing the lines at the corners of your eyes. They grow longer, deeper each year. Are they deeper than the bridesmaid's at your friend's wedding five years ago?
You drop your smile, your mouth still surrounded by a shadow of the parabola that lines your skin there. You puff out your cheeks and lips, hoping to make the lines disappear. They don't.
You touch your chin with one finger, moving the skin below the corners of you lips. You experiment, pulling the flesh up and out. Is this what you looked like ten years ago?
You look down at your hands. Tiny ridges line them, like the mud of a dried pond, cracking beneath the glaring sun.
You sit down, examining your feet. The soles are rough, sandpaper. There's a callus on the base of your big toe this little piggy went to market, and another on the pad beneath your pinky toe and this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee, all the way home.
The phone rings. You've been waiting a week for the call, knowing it would come sometime soon — any day. It still surprises you, hitting you like a sledgehammer in the chest. You reach for the phone with trembling fingers, mouthing a silent prayer as you lift the receiver.
"Hello? Yes. This morning? Service is on Wednesday? Yes, I'll be there. I love you too."
You hang up the phone, inhaling the sob that battles to escape. You can't hold back the tears, so you wipe them on the sleeve of your shirt, not caring if you get it dirty.
You remember him in life, laughter infecting all those around him, blue eyes filled with happiness.
Blue eyes you'll never see again.
Blue eyes you see every day when you look at your child.
You go back to the bathroom and look into the mirror. You remember the face of your grandmother, your grandfather, your uncle, your father.
You catch a glimpse behind you — a delicate dance of wings. You can feel the breeze as the air rolls off white feathers, swirling, embracing you. The smile returns to your face, and you realize those lines are not so deep after all.
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