TIME: Early evening, the present.
AT RISE: The stage is dark, except for some muted lighting filtering in from the skylight, projecting a gauzy, ill-formed spotlight into the room. We hear the SOUND of several rats scurrying about inside the walls. The WOMAN enters the bathroom and flicks on the light switch. The room becomes bathed in overhead lighting. The WOMAN is wearing a bathrobe;
her hair is pinned up into a tight bun. She is preparing to take a shower.
(The WOMAN walks over to the medicine cabinet and studies her face in the mirror.) |
| WOMAN: |
(grimacing) They always look at the face first.
(stretching the muscles in her face) I swear, two more wrinkles and no one will give a damn about my full — (with animation) yet perky tits.
(mugging into the mirror) Too bad I didn't marry good old Bernard when I had the chance. I could be excusably fat and wrinkly with his children.
(shrugs her shoulders) I'll just do a few more intensive isometric exercises. |
(The WOMAN walks over to the bathtub and turns on the water. With her back to the audience, she unties the bathrobe and allows it slip off her shoulders and fall to her feet. She checks the running water for a proper temperature, and makes an adjustment by turning the spigots.)
(SOMETHING catches her attention. What was it? A sound? A feeling?) |
| WOMAN: |
(nervous) Who's there? |
| (The WOMAN grabs her bathrobe from the floor and hurries around to the other side of the bathtub, crouching behind it. There, she struggles to climb back into her robe.) |
| WOMAN: |
Damn it, Bernard. Is that you?
(aggravated) I mean it, Bernard, this is not funny. You promised me that you wouldn't spy on me anymore.
(a pause)
(softly, pleading) Bernard? Please don't do this. |
| (The WOMAN feels vulnerable. Nonetheless, she stands, slowly. This is a brave act of defiance.) |
| WOMAN: |
(looking around the room, trying to figure out where Bernard might be hiding) Bernard, you're scaring me. Is that what you want?
(walking back around the bathtub, toward the medicine cabinet) Of course it is, you little shit. You want to scare me, don't you?
(wagging her finger at the wall) I told you what I'd do if I ever caught you staring at me through a peephole again. You're not stupid enough to think I was kidding, are you?
(turning sharply and walking to the door) Well, I wasn't! |
| (The WOMAN exits. The room is perfectly quiet while she is off stage. She returns, a mad woman on a mission, clutching a spray bottle.) |
| WOMAN: |
(stomping across the room) I now have the spray bottle, Bernard. And it's full of bleach water.
(facing the section of wall to the right of the medicine cabinet) Remember, I warned you about what I'd do next.
(vigorously spraying the wall) There!... There! That should burn your little beady eyes! You can't help but cry out now, can you?
(with glee) Damn, I know that had to sting. |
| (In another moment, the WOMAN stops spraying, and listens. NOTHING. There are no SOUNDS, except for her labored breathing.) |
| WOMAN: |
(concerned) Bernard—?
(listening intently) Bernard—? |
| (The WOMAN begins running her hands over the wall, angling her head and pinching her eyes, searching for a peephole.) |
| WOMAN: |
Bernard—? (concerned) Are you okay? I can't find the peephole. Have you already run away?
(annoyed) Damn you, Bernard, why are you doing this to me? It's over between us. |
| (We HEAR something moving inside the wall.) |
| WOMAN: |
(perks up) Bernard? (a pause) Bernard, please talk to me.
(becomes compassionate) I'm sorry that we had to break up. But this is doing neither of us any good. Our relationship was only meant to be a pleasant distraction, not a lifelong commitment. That was true for the both of us, Bernard. That was our deal—no commitment. Don't make me out as the evil one.
(slides down the wall and sits on the floor) I just couldn't take your smothering any longer. You were always watching me, always giving me the third degree. Where was I? Who was I with? Why did it take so long? I just couldn't live like that anymore. I'm sorry, Bernard... that it didn't work out between us.
(facing the wall) But we need to move forward. You need to move along with your life. You can't keep stalking me. I don't want to have to call the police. I will, though.
(a pause)
Bernard... are you listening to me? This has to end... Right now!
(resigns herself to the situation) You're such a shit, Bernard. Couldn't keep yourself from snooping around in my private life, could you? No. No. No... of course not.
(regrettably) You had to know everything.
(irritated) And where did it get you? Scampering around between two walls —
(pounds on the wall)— spying on me! That makes you a sick-o, Bernard. Did you hear me, Bernard? You're a sick bastard! You need help. |
LIGHTS FADE: (A PROJECTION SCREEN descends from overhead and flickers to life. The funnel of light from the skylight catches the WOMAN still sitting on the floor, staring up at the screen. She is recalling a memory.)
(On SCREEN, we see the bathroom. The wall around the sink and medicine cabinet has been neatly cut away, exposing the support beams and the outer wall, as well as the crawl space between them. There are several sheets of plasterboard leaning against the wall. BERNARD is sitting on the floor, tinkering with some pipes. The WOMAN walks into the room, surprised.) |
| WOMAN: |
Bernard, what's wrong? |
| BERNARD: |
(looking back over his shoulder) A pipe broke. There was water everywhere. I had to tear up the wall to replace the pipe. (resumes working) |
| (Noticeably absent is any sign of warmth between them; not a single hello kiss.) |
| WOMAN: |
And you can put it back together again? |
| BERNARD: |
A snap. Some plaster and paint, and you'll never be able to tell the difference. |
| WOMAN: |
Shouldn't we call in a professional? |
| BERNARD: |
At fifty bucks an hour? No. Besides, I think I've got it licked. |
| WOMAN: |
Did you go into work today? |
| BERNARD: |
No. This turned out to be an all-day project. Lucky I was here when the pipe broke. |
| WOMAN: |
I'll start dinner. (turns to exit) |
| BERNARD: |
I got a telephone call from your mother this afternoon. |
| (The WOMAN freezes in her steps. Her body tightens.) |
| WOMAN: |
(without turning around) What did she want? |
| BERNARD: |
That's a funny thing. She called to find out where you were. I guess you were late to your lunch date. |
| WOMAN: |
(finally turning around to face BERNARD) So I had lunch with my mother. What's the big deal? |
| BERNARD: |
Why didn't you tell me? |
| WOMAN: |
Why should I? It didn't concern you. |
| BERNARD: |
(standing) Your mother was surprised when I answered the phone. So I told her I was the plumber, that I was fixing a busted pipe.
(walking slowly toward the WOMAN)
Apparently, she doesn't know anything about me. What's going on? |
| WOMAN: |
(worried) Nothing. |
| BERNARD: |
(standing within arm's length of the WOMAN) It's funny what a person will tell a handyman. For instances, your mother was quite proud of the fact that she was going to introduce you to a handsome—her words—and eligible young bachelor. It seems that was the purpose of your lunch. Imagine my surprise. |
| WOMAN: |
(walks quickly to the far wall and stands beside the medicine cabinet; looking around; becoming scared) Where's the mop bucket? |
| BERNARD: |
What mop bucket? |
| WOMAN: |
If the floor was flooded, what did you use to mop up the water? |
| BERNARD: |
(stepping toward the WOMAN) I already put the mop away. |
| WOMAN: |
(defiant, but still fearful) No you didn't. That wouldn't be like you.
(thinking) There was no broken pipe, was there?
(BEAT)
And my mother didn't call this afternoon, did she? |
| BERNARD: |
You're right, I lied. In fact, your mother called early this morning, a few minutes after you left for work, to remind you about the luncheon. |
| WOMAN: |
And that's when you came up with the idea—(gesturing to the crawl space)—of doing this? |
| BERNARD: |
Clever, don't you think? These old buildings (smacking the wall) are full of big city rats. They should make short order of your flesh. No rotting odor to give me away. |
| WOMAN: |
That's your grand, master plan? To kill me and bury my body in the wall? |
| BERNARD: |
(smiling) Yep. Now imagine your surprise. (steps closer) I know this is going to sound terribly cliched and all, but I just can't bare the thought of you being with anyone else. (BEAT) That, plus all the years of deception. |
| WOMAN: |
It's only been eighteen months, Bernard. |
| BERNARD: |
I know, but I had big plans. Marriage, children, a home in the suburbs. |
| WOMAN: |
And just because it didn't work out, you're going to kill me? |
| BERNARD: |
Yep. |
(The WOMAN slides to the floor. BERNARD inches closer. Her HAND reaches out to a pipe wrench.)
(The FILM ends. A dim light exposes the crawl space between the walls, behind the medicine cabinet. We SEE a badly decomposed corpse standing upright, and wearing the tattered remnants of what BERNARD had been wearing in the film. A couple of RATS are climbing over and around the corpse.) |
| WOMAN: |
(lamenting) You couldn't leave things well enough alone, could
you? No.
No. No... not you.
And where did it get you? |
| CURTAIN |
