flashquake Plays - Cherry by Jefferson Moody

flashquake
Cherry
by Jefferson Moody

(Two men on stage examining a car. The car's presence is mimed.)

GARDNER: She sure is a beauty.

LEW: Yes. Well. Thank you.

(A third man, Blake, enters the periphery of the scene and hovers, getting closer with each line.)

GARDNER: Shiny.

LEW: Yes.

GARDNER: Quite...what? Red?

LEW: Definitely.

GARDNER: Cherry?

LEW: Cherry.

GARDNER: How much?

LEW: Ten.

(Blake, very close to the others now, leaning toward them like a person reading a newspaper over one's shoulder. The two don't notice.)

GARDNER: You wouldn't consider...

LEW: What?

GARDNER: You wouldn't consider...

LEW: Yes...

GARDNER: How about eight?

LEW: Eight?

GARDNER: Yes.

(Beat.)

LEW: Wish I could.

BLAKE: She run good, does she?

(Blake is noticed.)

LEW: You kidding me?

BLAKE (to Gardner): You drive her?

GARDNER: She's sweet.

BLAKE: Sort of an appley color.

GARDNER: Cherry.

BLAKE: Okay.

GARDNER: Cherry. Cherry red.

(Blake shrugs. "Whatever." He paces the length of the car, examining it.)

LEW (to Blake): You interested?

BLAKE: Naaa.

(beat)

Maybe.

(Blake takes his time. Looks for scratches on car.)

BLAKE (continuing): Maybe something for the misses.

GARDNER: The misses?

LEW: The misses?

BLAKE: Grocery shopping. Stuff like that.

LEW: This is a classic. I don't think--

BLAKE: How much?

LEW: I don't think--

BLAKE: How much you want?

LEW: This isn't the type of car that--

BLAKE: You selling or not?

LEW: Ten.

BLAKE: Ten grand?

GARDNER: Yes. He said "Ten."

(Blake looks at Gardner as if saying "Who the hell are you?")

BLAKE: Ten grand for that? It's pretty. I'll grant you that, but--

LEW: I understand if you're not interested.

BLAKE: But I am.

GARDNER: You are?

BLAKE(to Gardner): Are you?

GARDNER: I--I--

BLAKE: You made an offer?

GARDNER: Yes.

BLAKE: And it was too low?

GARDNER: Well--

BLAKE: It was too low.

GARDNER: Yes.

BLAKE (to Lew): All right, then. How much did you say?

LEW: Ten grand.

BLAKE: The misses is partial to Appley colors. I'll give you nine.

LEW: You haven't even driven it.

BLAKE (indicating Gardner): He has.

(Pulls out wad of cash and starts counting.)

LEW: You sure about this?

BLAKE: She'll think it's cute. What the hell?

GARDNER: What the hell? What the hell? This is a classic!

BLAKE: Am I talking to you? Go away. I'm busy.

LEW: All right now. There's no reason to--

GARDNER: I'll give you nine thousand.

BLAKE: Hey.

LEW (indicating Gardner): He was here first.

BLAKE: Fine. Nine and a half.
(to Gardner.) Now go away.

GARDNER (appealing to Lew): You gonna let this guy--I mean--this car: it's special. It's not a damn shopping cart.

BLAKE: What. You're not going to go grocery shopping in it? What? Your going to put the top down, let your hair blow in the wind on some pristine ocean highway with a hot blonde dripping sex onto the upholstry and never eat? Bull shit. You're going to drive from A to B. At B you're gonna get out, look back at what ever damn color it is, and walk backwards into the fucking grocery store and buy fucking eggs.

You'll walk out of B, examine the bird shit on the windshield, get in, go to A, and scrub the bird shit like someone putting out a fire. Then, like the misses, you'll fry the fucking eggs.

GARDNER: You don't love this car.

BLAKE: It's a car. Metal. Plastic. Bits. Pieces.

GARDNER (to Lew.): I'll give you ten grand.

BLAKE (to Gardner): You're a fool.

LEW: Well...

BLAKE: Well what? You waiting for me to bid higher?

LEW: Are you?

(Long Beat.)

BLAKE: Fuck no.

(Friendlier tone to Gardner.)

Enjoy your purchase.

(then, sarcastic, indicating car and Garner)

I hope you two live happier ever after.

(Blake, with last look at car, exits stage.)

LEW: Wow.

GARDNER: He wouldn't have loved her.

LEW: I guess not.

GARDNER (Pulls out money and hands it to Lew): Here's your money.

LEW: Thanks.

GARDNER: Bits and pieces. Can you believe that?

LEW: Bits and pieces.

GARDNER: She sure is red.

LEW: Cherry. Here's the keys. Title.

GARDNER: I'll be back with a friend to pick it up this afternoon.

LEW: Fine.

GARDNER (as he exits, mutters): Bits and pieces.

(Long Beat. Blake enters. He stands next to Lew and they stare at car.)

BLAKE: Tough one.

LEW: Yeah.

(Three Beats.)

(Lew peels off a few bills and hands them to Blake.)

LEW (continuing): Here's your cut.

BLAKE: Thanks.

(Lights out.)