flashquake  Charley Interruptus was presented at Far Off Broadway in June, 2001. |
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Charley, seated on an easy chair with a can of beer watching baseball on TV. TV (Taped) Two out, two on in the bottom of the eighth. . . Rivera takes a lead off second. Bennett off first. Miller peering in for the sign. . . .Shakes Santee off. . .Again. . . .Steps off the rubber. It certainly appears that Mr. Miller and Mr. Santee are not on the same page as to what to throw Lady: (Offstage) Charley. Ch(Enters in robe and curlers). Charley.Charley: What the. . . .Who the hell Lady: I’ve been calling you. Will you get your head out of (Turns off TV) the goddamn ball game and answer Charley: What. . .What are you. . .Who the hell are you, lady and what the hell are you doing in Lady: Who the hell am I? I’ll give you who the hell am I. This is the way you talk to your Charley: What on earth are you talking about? And how the hell did you get in here anyway? The damn door was. . .I locked it myself. Lady: You think you can just Charley: (Rising and starting to herd her out of the apartment) Look lady Lady: Don’t you look lady me. And don’t you dare lay a hand on Charley: (Backing off) Look la. . .I never touched. . . Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing. I don’t know how you managed to get yourself in here. I don’t know and I sure as hell don’t care. The only thing I do know is that you had damn well better get yourself out of here before Lady: Out of here! You want me out of here. I’ll bet you do. Well it doesn’t work that way, Buster. I am here. And I am staying here. Maybe you can play games with some women, but not me. You hear. Not me! Charley: Calm down lady. Lady: You calm down, you son of a bitch. And what is this lady crap? I got a name, goddamn it. Lady! I’ll lady you right in the Charley: Okay, just let’s hold everything here. Don’t you be screaming at me and don’t you be telling me you got a name, because whatever name you got, I don’t have any fucking Lady: Watch your mouth, Charley. You ain’t talking to some bimbo off the street. You want to talk to me Charley: Want to talk to you? What makes you think I want to talk to. . .I don’t even know who the fu. . . I don’t even know who you are. Lady: Right. You don’t know who I am. You don’t Charley: I don’t know Lady: You have never even seen me before. Charley: I have never ever laid eyes on Lady: Oh yeah, I get it. Some kind of amnesia, right? You really expect me to swallow that bullshit? You never laid eyes onyou laid more than eyes, you Charley: My memory is fine, perfect. Maybe I’m losing something, but it isn’t my goddamn memory. I know who I am. I know where I am. The only thing I don’t know is who the fuck you Lady: I told you once about that language. I won’t tell you again. Charley: Just tell me who the hell you are. Lady: I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction. You want to play games? Play with yourself. (Starts to exit) Charley: (Tries to stop her) You’re not going any-- Lady: I told you, do not. . .don’t you dare to touch me. Charley: I’m only Lady: I don’t care if you’re only the king of. . . .Don’t you try to manhandle me. You picked the wrong girl to show what kind of a tough guy you are. Charley: What are you talking about? I never lifted a hand to a woman in my life. Manhandle. Tough guy. You don’t know a goddamn thing about me. You don’t know me at all. Lady: I know you Charley. I know you alright. And what’s more important you know me. You can play dumb all you want. You didn’t forget and you ain’t crazy. Charley: Crazy? It ain’t me that’s the crazy one. It ain’t me that’s come prancing into some stranger’s apartment in the middle of the night. It ain’t me that (Lady starts to leave) Charley:Where do you think you’re going. I’m talking to you. You are not leaving. (Goes after her but she exits before he can get there.) You are not. . .(Looks through doorway where she has gone.) Charley:Damn it come back here. (Beat. Exits after her. Lights) |
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